[Vlog] Update, and Thanks!

Dear All,

Thank you for all of the likes, subscribes, comments, and shares! This month is has been pretty busy for me along with this website. I really like Halloween, so I thought 31 days of flash fiction and videos would be a cool tribute to the month. I’ll be going back to my regular 4-8 post schedule, but I have more fiction, more videos, more projects, and more announcements that I’ll be sharing and updating you on in the coming months. Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Philip N.R Hauser

P.S. also here’s a video where I’M NOT rhyming for a change!

[Flash Fiction] A Corpse Can Be Your Imaginary Boyfriend.

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I wasn’t going to let that bastard break up with me. I gave too many years of my life, too many hours of emotional labor, too many weekends where I cleaned the apartment and did the laundry while he sat on his ass and did shit. I loved him too god damn much to let him just call it quits and leave me.

Now he’s in my bed. He’s not breathing anymore. I poisoned his dinner and as one last gesture, I held him in my arms as he choked to death. He isn’t warm, but that’s okay. I get to lay with him and be by his side like we used to be. I just hope they understand when they find the body. I hope they understand what kind of pain I was in. I hope I can get off by reason of insanity.

#AllHallowsWritingTag [Just for Fun]

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Before I get into this post I want to make a special thanks to Dusten J Munden on twitter who tag me in this because this was a lot of fun to do! He linked me the rules that you can find here and hopefully I followed them to the letter. I’m using characters that are a part of my current novel project: Magus Noir Overdrive.

Magus Noir Overdrive is a spy novel that takes place in an urban fantasy setting. It has witches, wizards, angels, demons, vampires, and humans doing corporate sleuthing and government sponsored espionage in a big city, cyberpunk setting. Hopefully, I’ll finish it soon so all of you can read it!

Here are the questions:

  1. It’s Halloween night! What is your protagonist dressed up as? James would be dressed up as wizard, but only ironically since he is one. Most likely he’d shoot to dress as someone like Merlin (but he’d keep his raybands on).
  2. Who in your cast refuses to dress up and shows up at the Halloween party without a costume? Camilla the demon, because she’s old enough to know what Halloween was before it became all about candy and costumes. Although, her contempt for those who buy into treat or treating wouldn’t stop her from trying to make a buck off of them.
  3. Which character wears the most outrageous costume, and what would it be? Miriam, the vampire, would come to the party dressed as a slayed, and bloody Czar circa 1918, since her home country is Russia and the Czar outfit is a real one that her late father kept as a trophy.
  4. On Halloween, werewolves, vampires, and zombies are on the prowl. Which of your characters gets caught in their clutches, and which creature do they subsequently turn into? James would get caught by a vampire (most likely Miriam) and turned into one himself.
  5. Who wins the contest for best costume? It’s pretty close, but Miriam wins just because her costume is the most authentic looking. Even with the blood it looks well done!
  6. Who hands out toothbrushes to the trick and treaters? Cassian the angel. He also hates this holiday, but only because it encourages sin and hedonism among humans. However, he does his best to try to provide balance with the emphasis on healthy teeth. He’s mostly made fun of.
  7. Which two of your characters decide to pair up and do an angel/devil costume together? Talia, the succubus, comes dressed in a sexy devil costume and tries to get Cassian to join her in taking selfies. Cassian finally relents, but he looks totally fucking miserable next to the smiling, sultry demon in every photo.
  8. Someone is too scared to even attend the Halloween party. Who is it? Nina, another angel, because there’s a bounty on her head right now and she doesn’t want to leave her home.
  9. Who overdoses on Halloween candy and ends up sick? Talia, but only because Miriam wants Talia to prove that she can’t gain a pound by eating any food.
  10. Which character is most likely to place a curse/hex on someone and who would they curse? James ends up putting a hex on Camilla, because this Halloween party was a ruse to capture James and send him back to the wizard death camps.