Gina The Succubus [Excerpt]

Gina never thought she’d be a selling perfume to humans, but here she was. A succubus whose pheromones tempted men and women alike was now selling toned down (and in most cases inferior), chemical amalgamations of products she could emit just by sweating.

That didn’t mean that the job was bad, far from it. But the wings, horns, and yes, pheromones had to be tucked away and hidden when she put on her blouse and Armani suit everyday for work. She wasn’t suppose to be on Earth right now, and any supernatural would have loved to have her deported.

However, the risk was worth it. Gina was no longer slaving away on a grave farm in Hell, but she was getting paid a commission at the cosmetics section of the local Amazon Outlet Mall just outside of Austin. And business was fucking amazing.

My Short Story / Flash Fiction “The It” will be Published in the Latest TLDR Press Horror Quarterly this Fall + Novel Update [Announcement].

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Hi Everyone!

Also, yes, it’s true, “The It” is definitely being published! It might look like I’ve just been binge watching Halloween films (at least according to my twitter feed), but I’ve also been hard at work writing! Also, it is October and that’s the one month out of the year where binge watching scary movies is given a free pass in my corner of the world without being thought of as a total weirdo so…

Anyway, TLDR Press has been very kind to accept this story that started as a vague nightmare that I woke up from back in September. It’s a bit unsettling, if not miraculous, that that situation somehow made its way to being expressed as a piece of publishable fiction (though, to be fair, I was also on a deadline and no other ideas were panning out).

It wasn’t easy, but it was certainly doable. Special thanks to my assigned editor — David Clark — for helping me clean up the prose and asking me the right questions. Additional, special thanks, also goes to the curators Camden Collins, Joe Butler and the rest of the editors at TLDR Press who helped make this happen!

TLDR Press has been a great publication to work with in the past, especially when it comes to my previous works like Catherine and the Wasteland (which you can find in TLDR Press’s first anthology here) and my essay on drafting a novel.

(By the way: they also have a woman’s anthology out right now featuring all female writers that you ought to buy, too, because it’s going to endometriosis research)

“The It” will be published in the TLDR Press Horror Anthology which is set to come out later this month. There will definitely be announcements made here and on Twitter as soon as both the ebook and the physical copy make their collective debuts.

I’m also still working on Spymancer and hope to be done with this beast of an urban-fantasy-cyberpunk-spy-thriller novel by the end of this year. I’m up to nearly 80,000 words now after slashing over 40,000 during the First Draft Purge of Words (like I need the extra work, ugh).

Happy for all of you that continue to stick around to read my stuff and hopefully you still will! I wish you all the best and thanks again!

Sincerely,

Philip N.R Hauser

P.S. In Spring 2019 I plan on drawing again, too. Really excited!

On 9/11 [Essay]

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I find 9/11 to be an uncomfortable thing for me to talk about. I was 13 when it happened. In the 7th grade, I think. I was at school and it was around 11:30am when all the T.Vs in the classrooms were turned on. The students and teachers pretended to work while the footage of the planes going into the Twin Towers played in the background. Nearly half of my classes were like this. We couldn’t keep our eyes off of it. I want to say we got let go early, because eventually it was the only thing people were focused on.
I ended up walking home and was surprised to find my family had made it to the house before I did. I was scared because my dad said that since it was terrorists the war might last a long time and I might end up getting drafted when I turned 18. Five years seemed like a long time for a war to last and it freaked me out. I remembered my grandfather talking about shortages for everything during WW2 and I assumed it’d be like that. It was a bit overblown now that I think about it, but my mind couldn’t help but go there.
Looking back, it’s almost insane how one day separated the America I came of age in and the America that came the day after. For me the optimism of the 90s still resonated into the new Millennium prior to 9/11. NSYNC’s music video “Pop” that came out a few months before the attacks kind of encapsulates that last bit of American optimism. I’m not sure we’re ever going to get that feeling back or even want it anymore.
It’s as if we’ve been struggling between trying to regain that bit of innocence back and courting our own self destruction ever since that day happened. A part of the country seems to be impatiently waiting for the apocalypse (and in that impatience trying to take matters into their own hands to make that happen) and the other just wants to make like the past 17 years never happened. Overall (despite current circumstances) we’ve matured as a country. We know what our problems are. Solving them is harder and something major will have to be sacrificed to make that happen. I just hope it makes things better for us. I just hope it makes us a better class of people. Unlike other countries in the past, we have the luxury of knowledge in history and technology to make this happen for us. If we don’t, then we’ll have screwed ourselves over more thoroughly than the Romans. Well…I guess that’s all I wanted to say.

Spymancer Update [Delay Deuce].

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70,882 words. That’s how far I’ve gotten in revising the 85,000 word novel that was once zero words when I started it on one spring night in early 2016. And the crazy part? There’s a possibility that the final draft might go on longer than the initial 85k I ended with after the first go-around. What I’m really trying to say is that it’s now May 1st, and I did not meet my promise to finish the second draft of Spymancer.

The last I parted ways with my protagonist, James, he had conned his way into a nightclub and started shooting vampires in search of a demon who had done the bad thing. James hated the bad thing this demon did and decided that said demon needs to die. James thinks he might be close to death, too, but alas, it is not meant to be. Or is it? Probably. Can’t really pin that down right now.

However, what I can pin down, and probably should of had sorted already as early as a month ago was that my expectations for finishing this thing before my self-imposed deadline was ridiculous. As stated in an earlier post I made weeks ago, I was at the 45k mark and decided to dump the latter 40,000 words in order to do a complete re-write. That 85k which took 12 months to write, and 4 months of hard copy editing and post-draft outlining was grueling. To think I could pull off a 40k feat in a month was total hubris on my part. I thought it’d be more straight forward than this, but I was an idiot to think that I could pull this off while living on my own and pulling down a 40 hour per week day job on top of that.

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So, here’s what happening: as promised, I’ll post the first chapter of Spymancer on this website within the next week or so (split into two parts). After that, I’m taking the rest of May off. This is mainly because I’m burned out on writing the novel and would like to actually sit down and read or watch thing somebody else made for a change. It’s been a few months, so I’m overdue.

During this time I’m going to look over and re-evaluate the content I’ve been posting on Nocturnal Muse Sessions. Things have been pretty inconsistent around here, and with Austin By Night on the permanent back burner, I want to shift to a posting schedule that’s more manageable. That way you can get a decent stream of posts from me and you’re not left wondering if I got bored running this website and quit or simply died and forgot to let everyone know about it.

By June I’ll be back writing (and finishing) Spymancer, with, hopefully, a new posting schedule to boot! I’m glad you’ve stuck with me so far, and I hope to see that you continue to stick around. Be sure to follow me on twitter and I can’t wait to see how you like the first chapter!

Sincerely,

Philip N.R Hauser

I Was Featured in an Interview By C. Scott Frank in the Writer Series After Words [Interview]

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C Scott Frank is one of several #redditwriters that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting on twitter. Of course, he’s a writer, but Scott also does interviewing on the side with his blog series After Words. In this interview, I was asked about writing processes, listening to others, and overcoming adversities in this really cool, digital sit fire side chat! Link provided below:

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Interview Link

In Another Episode of “That Was A Good Read” One of My Poetry Videos Was Featured [Podcast]

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In another cool twist, iMorpheus came into my life again by featuring a video I did back in February where I did a poetry review of Altered Carbon (currently on Netflix). He was very kind to give my almost two minute video its chance at fifteen minutes of fame! You can find it towards the end of the podcast on his latest episode of “That Was A Good Read.” but listen to the whole thing! You are in for a literary treat! Link is below:

Podcast Link

 

In An Episode of “That Was A Good Read” One of My Flash Fictions Was Read [Podcast]

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You may not know iMorphus, but I do. This may be considered old news, but over the past several months some of my work has been featured on his podcast. One in particular incorporated something really cool where they got a voice actress — Amanda Berthot — to read one of my flash fictions. You can hear it in the podcast I’ll be linking below (it’s towards the end). You should also follow their work on twitter where they’re also in the process of releasing a new game on steam! Seriously, if you love horror, check their game out! Also listen to the podcast!

Podcast Link

 

Nocturnal Muse Sessions [Year 1]

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My website has been alive for 12 months so here’s an amateur edited video of me destroying my own ego!

But seriously, this year has been awesome and there are A TON of people to thank for that!

March 11th, 2017. It’s a date stated purely for my own benefit, because, number one: I suck at remembering specific dates (and yes I did have to look this up); and number two: because that was the day that this website — Nocturnal Muse Sessions — launched. The Youtube channel came five days later. After that it was nothing but poetry videos, flash fiction, story excerpts (short and long form), articles, crime serials, and updates on my current novel. Obviously, there’s been plenty to post on this small web space sporting a URL too long to remember. With my current log of over 50 videos and 50 posts, these past twelve months have felt like a constant state of hyper drive. We’re in can’t stop, won’t stop territory now, baby!

And, of course, there’s more to it than just me throwing my content out there just for the hell of it! There have been plenty of people watching, reading, and sharing along the way.

First a tribute to the online denizens who made my first year stint as an aspiring writer awesome!

Joe Butler: The man behind the #redditwriters hashtag group has brought together the greatest community of talented, supportive, and amazing authors that I’ve seen on twitter. He’s proven to me that the “social” in social media is often severely under rated and found me at a time when my cynicism towards all things twitter, facebook and reddit was at an all time high. He lifted my spirits with his community and gave me a chance by publishing my short story in the first reddit writers anthology: TL;DR. The anthology is due to come out sometime this spring and I’m super excited for it!

Camden M Collins: Editor of TL;DR and the redeemer of my poor choices in sentence structure and grammar. Camden is the reason why my short story doesn’t look it was written by someone who sacrificed proper structure in exchange for originality. After years of being a graduate at university, it was exhilarating to be back in the hot seat again for written critique.

Derek A./iMorpheus: Dude, I don’t know if it was fate or just dumb luck that brought us together, but I think we better just roll with it! This guy has been incredibly kind and supportive! Not only has he had me on for an interview for his podcast That Was a Good Read, but also hosted one of my videos, and had a reading done of one of my flash fictions! Keep an eye on this guy, cuz he’s going places!

Amanda Berthot: For being the awesome voice actress who brought my flash fiction to life in audio form and talking me up on the Cogpod podcast! Also for recommending Lost Girl to me when I finally finish the second draft of my novel!

Daniel Alvarez: For his review of my crime serial and giving me a higher grade than I would’ve given myself! He also does poetry like me, except way more often and you should check him out!

#redditwriters: David Sand, Penfold, Olen Bjorgo, Alexander Hamilton, David Clark, C Scott Frank, Deston J. Munden, Lila Vasudevan, Alex Hareland, Callum Colback, Natalia Delacruz, Vaugh, Bettina Busiello, and anyone else I forgot to mention. Yes, you! Whether it was reading and critiquing my work, sharing cool content with me, sharing my cool content with someone else or just making me laugh! All of you are the reason why I stay on twitter. Don’t stop what you do and keep writing!

And last, but not least, the men and women IRL who made me feel less alone and a kindred spirit among artists!

Owen Egerton: Host of Austin’s One Page Salon and author of his latest novel, Hollow. The guy is also the screen writer for the horror film Blood Fest and is helping keep the spirit of local art and writing alive where I live! He also let me read a page from my current novel one night and it was amazing!

Seth Meeks: Author of How I got Herpes & Other Incurable Stories and master guitarist. He is the guy who asks how my book is coming along and holds my feet to the fire!

Felix Morgan: Writer of Poe-tastic short stories, co-host of Bad Spirit Animals and all around cool chick. Like Owen and Seth, she is one of the several switch board operators that connects me and the rest to the literary soul of my town.

Brandon Seifert: Writer, and creator of Witch Doctor. For being a kindred spirit in the current genre I’ve chosen (urban fantasy) and all around well traveled guy. Your tales of the west coast are inspiring!

There’s probably a thing or three that I’ve missed, and if so leave it here in the comments! To all of you here: thank you for reading, watching, and subscribing. There will be an update on my novel soon and I hope to see you then!

 

Sincerely,

 

Philip N.R Hauser

Cashier Confessions 4 [Hard Drive Archive]

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Me: “So, that’s going to be $120.38.”
Customer: “Woooooow, really?”
Me: “Yep.”
Customer: “Well, here’s $50.”
Me: “Cool, well that just leaves 70, then.”
Customer: “Well, that’s all I have.”
Me: “Do you have credit or debit?”
Customer: “I don’t believe in plastic.”
Me: “Like…cards?”
Customer: “The whole concept really.”
Me: “Uh-huh, well, I would…you know…like some…real money, then.”
Customer: “Yeah, that would be nice.”
Me: “Yeah…”
Customer: “Can I just pay you some other way?”
Me: “Not really. I can suspend the order if you want.”
Customer: “Like…in space?”
Me: “……………………………..Yeeees.”
Customer: “Okay, thank you. Shopping on acid is a lot more difficult than I thought.”
Me: “Um…it’s cool?”
Customer: “Have you ever tried it?”
Me: “……….”
Customer: “I’m leaving now.”
Me: “Yes, thank you.”