[Flash Fiction] Crystal the Vampire

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“God damn it…”

It was the only thing Crystal could bring herself to say at the start of the evening when she emerged from her coffin to find a dead body on the ground. The man, a gray, naked, husk of a corpse had obviously been drain and left vacant of any life force that she sought to drink from. She grimaced at the dried erection that stuck out from the dead man like a flag pole or in Crystal’s mind, a phallic grave stone.

Crystal remembered bringing the guy over the night before just to take a bit of his blood for feeding. He was so healthy and full of life when she found him, that she knew he’d make a great weekly food source to snack on. Maybe she’d kill him or let him go, but either way, he was too good a catch and too ripe for the taking for her to pass up.

What Crystal forgot to do, however, before going to bed that pre-drawn morning, was lock her bedroom door. There was only one person in this apartment that could have done this. Only a succubus could leave their dead with a boner like that.

“You fucking bitch,” Crystal snarled to herself, her fangs barely able to stay retracted in her mouth as she worked herself up into a fit of rage.

Crystal leaped from her coffin, picking up the dead body as she went, and kicked open the bedroom door. She carried the dead man into the living room where Kimberly was eating a bag of chips while watching something on T.V.

Kimberly, the sultry succubus, looked up from her show. She had another chip just inches away from going into her open mouth before noticing Crystal storming in. Kim blinked with wide eyed surprise.

“Yeah?” asked Crystal, with a raised eyebrow, “remember this?”

Crystal dropped the body onto the coffee table, which caused Kimberly to jump slightly from her half-sitting-half-fetal-position on the couch. Kimberly maintained her composure, as she finished eating her last chip, but her voice betrayed a nervousness that wasn’t fooling anyone.

“His name was Justin, b-by the way,” Kimberly started, “he, he was studying business and liked video games. He was actually…”

“Shut up,” Crystal interrupted.

“Okay,”

“Seriously, what the fuck is your deal, lately?” Crystal asked, her voice rising into a shout, “you know he was mine, right!?”

“W-well,” Kimberly whimpered, “I didn’t take his blood. You can still drink him, right?”

“It’s dried blood, Kim,” said Crystal, speaking slowly as if to a small child. She even lifted one of the limp arms of the corpse and shook it for emphasis as she spoke, “you think I can drink this shit? I need fresh blood! You don’t fuck corpses, do you?”

“I was just…”

“What was going to be our rule?” Crystal asked, though at this point the ask sounded more like a demand.

“Please, Crystal,” Kimberly pleaded, “I was soooo fucking hungry today!”

“THE RULE!” Crystal shouted.

Kimberly looked back at the T.V and took a deep breath before exhaling the longest sigh Crystal had heard from Kimberly thus far.

“Any food that’s being kept in our bedrooms is to be off limits to the other room mate,” Kimberly stated, repeating the vow verbatim.

“Yeah,” said Crystal, nodding, “this is third time you’ve done this to me. You know how hard I had to look? How many nights I wasted trying to find a guy like this?”

“I’m just…” Kimberly tried to speak, but Crystal was having none of it tonight.

“I’ll tell you!” Crystal interrupted, shouting over her room mate, “I had to go to some shitty night club. One of the few in this godforsaken college town, by the way. I had to listen to shitty techno music, while pretending to enjoy shitty drinks, and act like I’m having a good time with shitty twenty-somethings. All this bullshit so I can find myself a fucking human specimen worth taking home with me, because I’m starving as fuck!”

“But, you look like a twenty-something, anyway,” countered Kimberly, “what’s the difference?”

“Kim, I’m forty-fucking-five,” Crystal responded, dead-pan, “doesn’t matter that I got turned at twenty-two and haven’t aged since. You know I can’t stand their music. Fuck I even got a gaming PC to keep these boys occupied while I sleep during the day. Do I look like a gamer to you?”

Kim didn’t have anything to say about that.

Crystal sighed and planted herself on the couch next to Kimberly. She looked at the corpse as a wave of depressive resignation washed over her.

“You didn’t even get rid of the body…” said Crystal.

Kimberly looked down, ashamed at what she had done and quietly placed her bag of chips down on the floor.

“You’ve never had this problem before,” said Crystal, “I know you’re not the dumb slut you pretend to be to snare guys. What’s going on?”

Kimberly looked up at Crystal and looked back at the T.V. To Crystal’s surprise, Kimberly was starting to tear up. Kim bit down on her lip to fight the tears, but she soon exploded into a full on sob. It was the ugly kind of crying that was a rare thing for a demon to do. Crystal had never felt more uncomfortable in her unlife than she did right now.

“Oh no…” Crystal was not equipped for this right now.

“He broke up with me!” Kimberly wailed.

Crystal tried to think for a moment about who Kim was talking about.

“Lazerus…?” Crystal asked.

“Yes!” screamed Kimberly, “that piece of shit! That fucking demon man whore dumped me!”

Kimberly resumed her crying while Crystal turned away and allowed herself to get hit by the pain and guilt she had allowed herself get mixed up in. Kim always had her ways of making Crystal feel like a total bitch.

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