Gina never thought she’d be a selling perfume to humans, but here she was. A succubus whose pheromones tempted men and women alike was now selling toned down (and in most cases inferior), chemical amalgamations of products she could emit just by sweating.
That didn’t mean that the job was bad, far from it. But the wings, horns, and yes, pheromones had to be tucked away and hidden when she put on her blouse and Armani suit everyday for work. She wasn’t suppose to be on Earth right now, and any supernatural would have loved to have her deported.
However, the risk was worth it. Gina was no longer slaving away on a grave farm in Hell, but she was getting paid a commission at the cosmetics section of the local Amazon Outlet Mall just outside of Austin. And business was fucking amazing.
It’s finally here!
The title may be called “Nope,” but do I want you to buy it? Yes! You can download the ebook here to read my short story “The It” and support the Pilcrow Foundation while you’re at it!
While you’re also on amazon, you can download or order a copy of the previous anthology I got into earlier this year, and read my first published short story “Catherine and the Wasteland.” I’ll provide the links again here:
Read the full version of “The It” here.
Read the full version of “Catherine and the Wasteland” here.
Hope you enjoy both and drop me a comment or an e-mail to tell me what you think of it! And as always thanks again for your support!
Philip N.R Hauser
Also, yes, it’s true, “The It” is definitely being published! It might look like I’ve just been binge watching Halloween films (at least according to my twitter feed), but I’ve also been hard at work writing! Also, it is October and that’s the one month out of the year where binge watching scary movies is given a free pass in my corner of the world without being thought of as a total weirdo so…
Anyway, TLDR Press has been very kind to accept this story that started as a vague nightmare that I woke up from back in September. It’s a bit unsettling, if not miraculous, that that situation somehow made its way to being expressed as a piece of publishable fiction (though, to be fair, I was also on a deadline and no other ideas were panning out).
It wasn’t easy, but it was certainly doable. Special thanks to my assigned editor — David Clark — for helping me clean up the prose and asking me the right questions. Additional, special thanks, also goes to the curators Camden Collins, Joe Butler and the rest of the editors at TLDR Press who helped make this happen!
TLDR Press has been a great publication to work with in the past, especially when it comes to my previous works like Catherine and the Wasteland (which you can find in TLDR Press’s first anthology here) and my essay on drafting a novel.
(By the way: they also have a woman’s anthology out right now featuring all female writers that you ought to buy, too, because it’s going to endometriosis research)
“The It” will be published in the TLDR Press Horror Anthology which is set to come out later this month. There will definitely be announcements made here and on Twitter as soon as both the ebook and the physical copy make their collective debuts.
I’m also still working on Spymancer and hope to be done with this beast of an urban-fantasy-cyberpunk-spy-thriller novel by the end of this year. I’m up to nearly 80,000 words now after slashing over 40,000 during the First Draft Purge of Words (like I need the extra work, ugh).
Happy for all of you that continue to stick around to read my stuff and hopefully you still will! I wish you all the best and thanks again!
Philip N.R Hauser
P.S. In Spring 2019 I plan on drawing again, too. Really excited!
It’s still hard to believe that something so ugly and useless looking destroyed our town in just a matter of days. It turned everyone here into its slaves, and anyone who is immune to it gets killed. That disgusting thing made Karen kill her own husband of twenty years because he said it was controlling our thoughts and making us go insane. Karen loves this thing now like it’s her own kids.
Dear friends, living, lost, and long dead
To days gone by and words needed, but not said
Could I find the time again if I were to try?
Or have all opportunities justly passed me by?
To grow up knowing one may be born to die?
Trapped in a cave with no way to thrive
As our hearts hold dear
To wishes and lives we dream
But here no rest only the fear to be
And yet we try and hope
An event we must coax
More elusive than the wind or a ghost
A shadow we must chance even during night
For hope is the drive, the promise, the flight
My love, if you could see me now
I’d trade my life for yours, but how?
Even on my lowest days the choice is mine
And if I see you again, I will help you thrive.
I find 9/11 to be an uncomfortable thing for me to talk about. I was 13 when it happened. In the 7th grade, I think. I was at school and it was around 11:30am when all the T.Vs in the classrooms were turned on. The students and teachers pretended to work while the footage of the planes going into the Twin Towers played in the background. Nearly half of my classes were like this. We couldn’t keep our eyes off of it. I want to say we got let go early, because eventually it was the only thing people were focused on.
I ended up walking home and was surprised to find my family had made it to the house before I did. I was scared because my dad said that since it was terrorists the war might last a long time and I might end up getting drafted when I turned 18. Five years seemed like a long time for a war to last and it freaked me out. I remembered my grandfather talking about shortages for everything during WW2 and I assumed it’d be like that. It was a bit overblown now that I think about it, but my mind couldn’t help but go there.
Looking back, it’s almost insane how one day separated the America I came of age in and the America that came the day after. For me the optimism of the 90s still resonated into the new Millennium prior to 9/11. NSYNC’s music video “Pop” that came out a few months before the attacks kind of encapsulates that last bit of American optimism. I’m not sure we’re ever going to get that feeling back or even want it anymore.
It’s as if we’ve been struggling between trying to regain that bit of innocence back and courting our own self destruction ever since that day happened. A part of the country seems to be impatiently waiting for the apocalypse (and in that impatience trying to take matters into their own hands to make that happen) and the other just wants to make like the past 17 years never happened. Overall (despite current circumstances) we’ve matured as a country. We know what our problems are. Solving them is harder and something major will have to be sacrificed to make that happen. I just hope it makes things better for us. I just hope it makes us a better class of people. Unlike other countries in the past, we have the luxury of knowledge in history and technology to make this happen for us. If we don’t, then we’ll have screwed ourselves over more thoroughly than the Romans. Well…I guess that’s all I wanted to say.
A dream unto me,
of times and fables gone by,
why did I cry,
when I knew the line made not to cross
yet we crossed long ago and long before
lines on your face I did adore
and what was me?
Not much to say
Who would believe on my most honest day
one who saw life and world
from burn to birth
from grass to grit
from time to time
Too weary to see it once again pass me by
and you came like speck in the night
my universe to your star
burning brightly from afar
And I knew you would fade
but all the same I wanted to stay
and see you grow old bright star from afar
touch you and caress you kindly
love you blindly
even when you fade into that dark night
back into nothing after burning so bright
let it be known that you made my time fly ever lovingly by
and if revived to come out one day
please come by
please come and stay.
There once was a vampire named Thume, Who took a succubus up to his room,
Where they argued all night,
Over who had the right,
To drain away what, and from whom.
I was at ArmadilloCon 2018 this past weekend. Didn’t stay for the whole event, but I got in on the critique panel, and got a short story of mine reviewed! Got some really great advice for it all around.
I plan on finishing up another short story this month and then I’m back to revising Spymancer again.
Hope all of you readers are doing well (and I hope this post comes out nice looking because I’m doing this on my phone). I hope remember to post something else before this month is over. Haha!
This article was definitely a lot of fun to write! It’s been awhile since I’ve had to really think about how I go about writing a story, so this was certainly a fun exercise. Sarah Linders, as well as TLDR Press are to thank for providing the platform for me to sound off on this particular subject (as well as encouraging me to write the article in the first place). I’ll provide the link below, but you should definitely check out their stuff since their work and published anthologies all go to several different charities around the world! Thank you for giving this a read!